Marriage Maintenance

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Photo Courtesy of Emily Ebeling – see link at the bottom of this post

Ah, the wedding day. That picture above is from my very own wedding day. It was wonderful, though I have to admit that planning it was kind of stressful for me. There is a lot of work that goes into planning a wedding (though there doesn’t have to be, there just was in our case for what we wanted). You have to get a dress, rent tuxes, pick out food, find a cake, pick a photographer, etc, etc.

All for one day.

But what about the rest of the days of your marriage? So many people put focus on the wedding and then they forget about all the days after that. The marriage part. They assume it will come easy and naturally.

And for some things, it does. But for other things, marriage takes work. It’s a relationship, with two imperfect people, who will always be imperfect. It’s not a lovey-dovey feeling all the time. Your marriage takes maintenance.

One of the ways that Nick and I work to maintain our marriage is regular date nights. We try to do them every week. What we’ve found that works for us is to take turns planning the date. One week is Nick’s week and then the week after that is my week. That way we don’t get into this rut of doing dates because we are both getting turns to pick and we’re not just doing the same thing all the time.

And by dates, I don’t just mean that you have to dress up and go out to dinner at a nice restaurant. They can be anything, I think, as long as the point of them is to spend time together (usually, for mine, I try to make it something we don’t normally spend time together doing). And you can totally work around your child (if you want to). I’m not to the stage yet where I really feel comfortable leaving Dom with anyone (well I did leave him with my sister for a bit during the move, but my sister doesn’t live around here so I can’t leave him with her on a regular basis) plus I’m kind of a bit lazy and I don’t want to pump yet (I only have a manual pump because Dom is with me almost all the time) and I don’t want to give him formula either (though I have easily enough . . . oh free formula samples, that could be a whole ‘nother post). Some things we’ve done in the past include snuggling up watching a movie, making homemade pizza together, things like that. Actually, we were going to go on a date today , to the beach! But then when we woke up it was raining and thundering and lightening. We actually got a decent amount of rain, which is nice because we are in a drought and definitely need it, but it ruined our plans to go to the beach. But it’s okay. It was Nick’s week and we’re having a make up date night tomorrow night. Not the beach, it’ll be kind of late in the day for that, but it’ll be fun I’m sure.

So, how do you maintain your marriage? Let me know in the comments!

Also if you would like to see more of my wonderful photographer’s work or hire her, you can find her Facebook page here and her blog here.

 

 

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