We Value Traits in Adults That We Don’t in Children

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. . . but how can we expect them to suddenly be different people once they are adults?

I have said this many times. We value in children traits that we rarely value in adults. And I think this is a huge problem. Because those children will grow up to be adults and if we’ve spent all out time trying to weed out the traits that would make them the kind of adults we want, how can they be those people? There’s no magic switch you can flip once you turn 18 that makes you into a different person.

We expect kids to conform and to be doormats. We want them to follow all the rules, all the time, no exceptions. We try to control them and make every decision for them all the time. We often squash their curiosity, creativity and desire to learn by trying to fit them in a box, even if that’s not our intent.

But yet we want adults to be creative, free thinkers, with the ability to be motivated to grow themselves through learning. We want them to be able to stand up for what they believe and not to do something just because their boss tells them too if it’s illegal or immoral. We want them to be strong decision makers and self-reliant, independent people. But we’re not going to get adults like that if we make them children like the above. Sometimes they muddle their way through to being adults like this, but what if we could give them the skills and encouragement to be like this from the beginning?

When it comes to children, I think we have to think long-term about the kind of adults we want then to become and then encourage them to be those kinds of people.

Tomorrow will be my last post on this subject (I think haha) and I am going to touch on whether or not we should blame parents for how their kids turn out.

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