I saved this one for last because it’s a very tough question to answer. And I will admit I don’t have the answer because it’s not a simple yes or no answer.
Because the answer is yes and no. It’s a lot of gray area folks.
I mean we obviously know that parents are heavily influential in the life of their kids for better or for worse. I’m not disputing that.
What I am saying is the idea that if you don’t have a perfect child, there must be something wrong with the parenting has got to go.
I think when we think that if you are just the best parents that you will have the best kids not only are we setting ourselves up for failure but we are forgetting one crucial thing.
Kids have free will. I know it might be a shocking concept, considering many people think kids exist just to be controlled, but as human beings born on this planet they have free will to make decisions good or bad. So you can be the best parent in the world and your child can still grow up and make bad choices. I once heard on the radio that Hod was the perfect parent and look at how humans turned out (funny but it also makes you think).
And sometimes this thought of my kids having free will frightens me. Because society does hold the view that parents can control how their kids turn out, I’m afraid of being judged if my kids don’t turn out the way people expect them to.
But most of the time, it’s a relief to realize this. Because I am far from perfect, knowing that it’s not all up to me allows me to give myself some grace for when I mess up. I have a tendency towards perfectionism (which shouldn’t surprise anyone haha) and realizing they are little humans with free will, helps me to be a little less hard on myself because even if I was perfect it wouldn’t guarantee me anything more than I’m guaranteed now.
I’m just going to strive to be the best parent I can be, let me kids turn out the way they turn out, and pray that God would bless them and take care of them. And that’s all I can do.