The Men in Our Lives Deserve Better

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The men in our lives deserve our respect

When I started my blog, this was not even on my radar as something that was an issue, but I have seen this become more and more of a problem over the past couple of months. And that is this double standard when it comes to the things that we say about men and the things that we think are okay to do to men. We fail to show them the respect they deserve as fellow human beings who live and breathe and exist on this planet with us.

I often see people suggesting that because of a man’s actions (which admittedly may not be great) that he should be killed or injured.  Or people sexually objectifying men doing every day things – I see this especially in babywearing groups, that men babywearing become a sort of sex objects when they are just doing the normal, every day task of parenting.  Or generalizations that men are good for nothing and incompetent and always will be. I have seen people suggest that women should use sex as a bargaining chip with their spouse – “Just buy it, then have sex with him, he’ll get over it.” is a real comment I have seen. Or that it’s okay to lie to them in your relationship.

And I look at these things and I just feel they are not okay. We would be simply appalled if men did any similar things towards women, but apparently it doesn’t swing both ways and culturally it has become acceptable to encourage these things. Even though when someone says, “He deserves a junk punch,” most of the time, that isn’t happening in reality, nobody seems to bat an eye at it. If a man said something like, “She deserves a good punch to straighten her out,” we would be horrified and fear for her safety. Not to mention the implications for relationships. If you want to have a healthy relationship, lying or only doing something for the other person when you want something are not the ways to do it.

Regardless of who they are, male or female, we should respect all people enough to not threaten them with bodily harm. I recognize that it’s so easy to do – I don’t know why this is or what about our culture encourages this, but I have even found myself saying things jokingly to people that are not things we should joke about. We should also respect our relationships enough to want them to be healthy and to grow.

I hope I’m not alone when I write about these things, that other people recognize the problem that exists and that we can work together to treat all people with the basic respect and dignity they deserve. What we say and what we do – it matters. The men in our lives deserve better.

Are you with me? Have you seen this problem as well? Or do you feel differently? 

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