What a Day

I don’t even know where to begin on this day, but I have to begin somewhere because I have only 45 minutes left in my day to get this done in time.

This retreat has been – in a word – incredible. It has been so good for my soul to be with these wonderful ladies and to be hearing from our really amazing speakers. And somehow, in the mysterious ways that God always works, it feels like He handpicked the speakers just for me.

The first breakout session I went to talked about how we can let go of all our baggage if we just look at the light – at God’s light, then we don’t see all this stuff. And I haven’t admitted it to many people, but I’ve been struggling with balance lately. Struggling with feeling like I only see all the ways I fail – and boy, do I make a lot of mistakes, nothing has ever taught me I am an imperfect person more than parenting has. But it was like God was there to remind me, focus on Him and let go of these idols of expectations that you have made for yourself that I never asked you to be. He never asked me to have an immaculate house. He never asked me so many of the things that I ask – no, let’s be frank – demand, of myself. He is where I need to put my focus.

The second breakout session focused on how we can love our neighbors – like really brainstorming ways. And I have been brainstorming for myself on this topic lately and I really have been thinking about – how best can I show love to those around me? Because I do want to show them love. I don’t think in general, that we show each other enough love and God called me to love my neighbors so how best can I do that? I got a lot of ideas from there that I’m going to keep kicking around how best I can show love to others.

And then there’s all the fellowship. I am so blessed to be here with such a wonderful group of people. Some I knew already, some I’ve just met, but we’ve been able to laugh and eat and talk and play games and I just feel so filled up with love and encouragement and peace. Sometimes, I try and go it alone, but without God and without good friends, I really flounder. I can not be super woman. I can not do all the things! I need God and He has so richly blessed me by putting in my life all these opportunities for relationships with such wonderful and diverse people and I need those friendships.

And I know next week it will be easy to be like, where is this feeling from today? When it’s back to the daily grind. But I hope I can hold onto the joy and the peace and the freedom I feel here if I remember to turn to the light and I remember that I don’t have to go it alone.

This woman is not an island unto herself. And I am really, really glad for that.

<3 All my love to all of you,

Melissa

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